Saved by the Sermon
Years ago I heard a sermon on discovering God’s will and took it to heart. When I fell into infatuation with an old flame from high school it saved me from disaster. Strolling down memory lane “Vince” and I reached out to each other to recapture our innocence. We sought to relive an uncomplicated time in our lives—BFC—before foolish choices. We both married young and experienced painful divorces.
For a while it felt like God’s perfect plan. Romantic nights, old movies we both loved, dancing to the classic oldies, long telephone conversations with the thrill we felt as teens.
After a few months I wondered: Do I marry him or not? He’s crazy about me and though he hasn’t been a Christian long, he seems to love you Lord. I quizzed myself just as the sermon directed: Have you checked God’s word? Yes, it’s not really applicable here as we’re both Christians. Would you feel right asking God to bless it? Yes indeed. Could you thank him for it? You bet, I’ve been single 8 years! Would it be a stumbling block to others? No, I don’t think so. Do the circumstances line up? I met him again through my daughter. How’s that for an unexpected open door? Have you sought Godly counsel or advice, those who have a track record of experience, with no personal stake in your decision? Oops, not really. Only my best friend who is a bit colored blind when it comes to red flags. She thinks he’s quite the hunk. We are attending a pre-marriage group right now at his church, but nobody knows either of us there. Maybe I should consult with someone else, someone with a gift of discernment, who can give me the straight scoop.
Would the decision be to God’s glory? Now that’s a hard one. I would hope so. I want a good Christian marriage after all. Will your decision or actions bring you closer to God or pull you farther away? Now we’re getting into the sticky stuff. Vince and I do disagree on some practical issues like money and debt. And I’m trying to grow him up in the faith real fast buying books and tapes for him, which he thanks me for.
Well, In thinking it over, I’m more concerned with his spiritual growth than my own right now. And he’s pressing for marriage, to set a date soon, because “It’s better to marry than to burn with passion.” I have become the moral compass in our relationship which I must admit is not too much fun.
Have you sought the Lord about it? M’mm, not in the way I should.
And last: Do you have a sense of peace? Not really, there’s a check in my spirit, and I’m trying to pretend it is just the jitters, trying to convince myself he just needs to feel secure and he’ll stop hanging on so tight and pressuring me.
I couldn’t escape the truth. We had gone ahead of God and were not ready to be engaged. After explaining the reasons I wanted to take a step back, Vince peered at me. “You are not listening and following God’s will. He told me we are to be together.”
But he hasn’t told me.
Our disagreements led to a bitter break-up. I saw sides to Vince that were masked during the rose-colored glass courtship. Weeks later, after the pain of missing him—and his attention— lessened, I trusted that God was saving me for something far better, for my good and his ultimate glory.
Vince never spoke to me again.
Asking the right questions and heeding my heart’s reply served me well. When Carl came along two years later, our relationship passed the test.
One of biggest barriers to discovering God’s best, is impatience. Since the beginning when we were driven out of paradise we get antsy in God’s waiting room. In our quick-fix drive-thru microwave society, waiting is almost a lost art. When God doesn’t move fast enough to suit our needs or delays his directives after we labor in prayer we get weary and seize control. I can’t just sit here. I have to make something happen to change this situation.
I have to move this relationship along. I’m not getting any younger Lord.
“To lose patience,” said Gandhi, “is to lose the battle.”
or a miPatience rates high as a remedy for the yet unsolved dilemmas in life. When in doubt, wait it out. “The testing of your faith produces endurance, but endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.”
God will make the most of your waiting time, preparing and molding you into the person you need to be, whether it’s for marriage or ministry.
Adapted from Unshakeable; The Steadfast Heart of Obedience, 2005